Can you guess what's making this giraffe self-conscious? Could it be . . . HIS ENORMOUS NECK?? Yes, it's exactly that--how on earth did you figure it out? Cyrus the giraffe can't understand why his neck is as long and bendy and, well, ridiculous as it is. No other animal has a neck this absurd. He's tried disguising it, dressing it up, strategically hiding it behind bushes--honestly, anything you can think of, he's tried. Just when he has exhausted...

"A penguin whines about the uncontrollable problems in his life."--

"Attention, reader: This book is going to make you tired! It will calm you down! Yes, this book will put you to sleep! How? Easy. There are monster trucks dashing across the pages. There are sheep being chased by dragons. There are electric guitars wailing throughout. Plus so much more! Yep. All the typical stuff that makes you sleepy. So . . . are you asleep yet? No? Well, maybe another method would work better . . . So read on, and it's guaranteed...

A monster tries to chomp any reader who wants to go past the first page of the book in order to keep his cakes safe.

From the authors of the breakout best seller All my friends are dead comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the humorous existential ruminations of people, animals, legendary monsters, and inanimate objects.